And then, I transferred schools to be with him our second year of college. We saw each other pretty frequently and were always spending nights together. It was kind of like living together, except we had our own places so we weren't up each other's asses. Perfection. After awhile we just kind of started fighting A LOT, and it wasn't just me this time, it was both of us. We had actually gotten into this REALLY bad fight one night at a party that was being held at my apt and he had thrown a beer can at me while I was walking away from him. I went ape shit on his ass and chased him out of the apartment, said some things I didn't mean, and comforted him while he cried. And even after that craziness, we still managed to move forward. Then, out of nowhere, we just kind of fell apart. It was hard for me, it really was, but it was even harder on him. I felt awful. It was truly a mutual breakup, except instead of me crying at the end of it all, he was. Which is extremely unlike me to NOT cry, but I think I just knew that this time was for good.
We tried to remain friends after that, but it actually took awhile for us to get to a good place. For quite a few years we were the absolute best of friends, I could tell him anything and he could tell me anything. That was the greatest feeling in the world, just knowing I could trust these things with him and that he knew me so well he could give me pointers on how to handle things, stuff like that. Then, he started dating this huge (pardon my French) cunt and we're not even allowed to be friends anymore. Like we're 5 and we have to have permission! I met this girl for the first time when I was dating someone else and she seemed to really like me! I made sure to pay most of my attention to her and never mentioned things that My First Love and I had done in the past or anything. I was really trying with this girl! At first she liked me, and theeeeen once I was single again, she hated me. I went to My First Love's birthday get together and she wouldn't even look at me, let alone talk to me, so I talked to his sister the whole night. Then, one night, I was going to be at a bar he frequented so I asked if he was there, he was. When I showed up I didn't see him anywhere and then finally, about 10 mins later, he found me when I was standing at the bar. He was sitting there alone with a solemn look on his face. It was weird, so I kind of just shrugged him off because I was pissed he was acting that way. Couple days later I email him and ask him what the fuck was with that night at the bar. When he emailed me back I couldn't believe my eyes, I happened to read it on my phone while I was at work and I was in tears! He basically said that it was between me and her and he didn't want to choose. Well, I made that real easy for him and told him that unlike her I wasn't going to make him choose, and that I'd just stop contacting him and we didn't have to be friends anymore. Was that immature? Yeah, it probably was. But you have to understand, at this point I had known him about 8 years, 4 of which we were together! I was so hurt and felt SO betrayed.
We didn't speak for a long time, I'd say almost a year, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I emailed him begging him to reconcile, to be my friend again, I needed him. Not because I'm still in love with him, but because he knows me almost better than anyone else and we've shared so many stories, memories and just everything together. I needed that back. Well, he took two weeks to write me back, but he did. However, he said he needed to talk to his
So, in my next post we'll discuss boyfriend #2, The Virgin...
xoxo,
Me
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