My first love (part 2).

Other than not really getting along with My First Love's mom, everything else was pretty great.  I got along great with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.  And he got along really well with my family as well.  We spent almost all of our free time together, but didn't completely neglect our friends.  It was almost perfect!  But, as I mentioned previously, I have a bit of a temper and I'd get mad about the stupidest things.  I don't want to blame it on my childhood, but that definitely plays a huge part in this.  But that's something I don't really want to get into right now, perhaps another time.  Anyway, we were together all of high school and during our first year of college we spent our Spring Breaks at each other's schools.  It was awesome, I loved how things were going!  But then I met someone else, and I was curious as to how it would be to be with someone else, I'd never known what that was like and I was stupid.  That's when I dated The Virgin.  Again, I'll come back to that.  After I broke things off with The Virgin to get back together with My First Love, things were great again, we picked back up right where we left off.

And then, I transferred schools to be with him our second year of college.  We saw each other pretty frequently and were always spending nights together.  It was kind of like living together, except we had our own places so we weren't up each other's asses.  Perfection.  After awhile we just kind of started fighting A LOT, and it wasn't just me this time, it was both of us.  We had actually gotten into this REALLY bad fight one night at a party that was being held at my apt and he had thrown a beer can at me while I was walking away from him.  I went ape shit on his ass and chased him out of the apartment, said some things I didn't mean, and comforted him while he cried.  And even after that craziness, we still managed to move forward.  Then, out of nowhere, we just kind of fell apart.  It was hard for me, it really was, but it was even harder on him.  I felt awful.  It was truly a mutual breakup, except instead of me crying at the end of it all, he was.  Which is extremely unlike me to NOT cry, but I think I just knew  that this time was for good.

We tried to remain friends after that, but it actually took awhile for us to get to a good place.  For quite a few years we were the absolute best of friends, I could tell him anything and he could tell me anything.  That was the greatest feeling in the world, just knowing I could trust these things with him and that he knew me so well he could give me pointers on how to handle things, stuff like that.  Then, he started dating this huge (pardon my French) cunt and we're not even allowed to be friends anymore.  Like we're 5 and we have to have permission!  I met this girl for the first time when I was dating someone else and she seemed to really like me!  I made sure to pay most of my attention to her and never mentioned things that My First Love and I had done in the past or anything.  I was really trying with this girl!  At first she liked me, and theeeeen once I was single again, she hated me.  I went to My First Love's birthday get together and she wouldn't even look at me, let alone talk to me, so I talked to his sister the whole night.  Then, one night, I was going to be at a bar he frequented so I asked if he was there, he was.  When I showed up I didn't see him anywhere and then finally, about 10 mins later, he found me when I was standing at the bar.  He was sitting there alone with a solemn look on his face.  It was weird, so I kind of just shrugged him off because I was pissed he was acting that way.  Couple days later I email him and ask him what the fuck was with that night at the bar.  When he emailed me back I couldn't believe my eyes, I happened to read it on my phone while I was at work and I was in tears!  He basically said that it was between me and her and he didn't want to choose.  Well, I made that real easy for him and told him that unlike her I wasn't going to make him choose, and that I'd just stop contacting him and we didn't have to be friends anymore.  Was that immature?  Yeah, it probably was.  But you have to understand, at this point I had known him about 8 years, 4 of which we were together!  I was so hurt and felt SO betrayed.

We didn't speak for a long time, I'd say almost a year, and I just couldn't do it anymore.  I emailed him begging him to reconcile, to be my friend again, I needed him.  Not because I'm still in love with him, but because he knows me almost better than anyone else and we've shared so many stories, memories and just everything together.  I needed that back.  Well, he took two weeks to write me back, but he did.  However, he said he needed to talk to his cunt face bitch fiancée (I have no idea when they got engaged since we hadn't spoken in so long) and see how she felt about it.  I wrote him back and said that I wish I knew what her insecurities were so I could reassure her that I don't want to be with him.  I also suggested we all get together and talk about this, I mean, we're all adults here.  At least I am anyway.  That was about 2 months ago, haven't heard a thing from him since.  What is a girl to do?  I have issues letting people go.  Yet another thing I'm trying to work on.

So, in my next post we'll discuss boyfriend #2, The Virgin...

xoxo,
Me

My first love (part 1).

I guess now that I'm blogging more frequently I really should start from the beginning, dating wise anyway.  So let's do that, shall we?

I met My First Love in high school.  Actually when I met him he'd been dating one of my best friends, and that lasted all of maybe 2 weeks.  I know, I know, I kind of broke girl code by dating an ex of one of my bff's.  But let's be real, this was in high school, it lasted no more than a couple weeks and when she broke up with him she had me listen in on another phone in her house.  She couldn't have been that interested in him, right?!  That's how I look at it anyway.  Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, that wasn't the first time I met him, he dated another girl I'd met in high school before my bff.  Wow, it's all coming back to me now.  Anyway, when those two dated they were in one of our groups for a school dance where we all took a limo and went to dinner and the dance together.  But we barely spoke.  Anyway, that's neither here nor there, I met him my 10th grade year and we became friends when he dated my bff, I was the only one who was nice to him at our lunch table.  We started dating when we were 16 and he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first...everything.  If you catch my drift.  He was really great, very attentive and he always did the sweetest things for special holidays and anniversaries.  We were madly in love and dated (on and off) for almost 4 years.  It's funny, we managed to survive a year of college apart yet ended up breaking up when I changed colleges to be closer to him.  That's ok, those things happen.

It's funny that I bitched about mentioned people only text these days, when back in 10th grade all we did was IM each other on AOL.  Ahhh, the sweet sound of dial-up, how I don't miss you!  Anyway, we would spend hours after school and on weekends IM'ing each other and we really were just friends for a little while.  Actually his two best friends both asked me out and I just wasn't into them that way.  The dance we all went to as a group, I actually went with one of his best friends.  Oh my gosh, how horrible of friends were we to these people?!  I'm just now realizing this.  I digress.  So after we were IM'ing for a couple weeks he started calling me and we'd talk after school on the phone every. single. day.  I was in heaven!  I obviously started liking him A LOT and he felt the same, however he also liked my friend (the one he previously dated for 2 weeks) so it took him awhile to finally ask me out.  I was SO excited!  I remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was actually 11 years ago.  I was getting ready to go babysit my neighbors kid for a few hours, so I had to get off the phone.  He said he had something to ask me before we got off the phone, and he said the most beautiful words I had ever heard, "I just wondered if you would be my girlfriend."  I probably wanted to scream "FUCK YES!"  But I held that in and gave a little giggle and said "YES!" probably a little too quickly because he responded with, "what, were you waiting for me to ask you or something?"  Uhhhh, YES no, I'm totally cool man, I'm just living in the moment.  What does he think?!  OF COURSE I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK ME OUT!

The next day we had our "first date" if you can call it that.  Meaning we went and walked around the mall holding hands until they got so sweaty because we were so nervous that we had to break apart.  That was also the evening of my FIRST KISS.  Swoon!  We were in his truck, getting ready to leave the mall, when he planted one on me!  It was heavenly, it was magical, I'm pretty sure I saw fireworks!  It was the exact way I had pictured my first kiss to be.  And then he had to ruin it by telling me I was a good kisser.  Now I say he ruined it, but I'm sure back then I was elated that he thought so since he knew I'd never kissed anyone before.  Ahhh, the good ole days when I still had (most of) my innocence.  So before our first date he had to meet my parents since he was my bf and he was going to be driving me places (he, like, so totally already had his drivers license and his own truck, eek!) and that went fine.  Me meeting his parents for the first time, however, not as great as I'd hoped it would be.  I mean, this was my first experience in dating EVER and now I'm meeting his parents a couple weeks later, I was so nervous!  So, we went to this steak place, which would normally be my idea of Heaven on Earth because I loooove steak, but instead I ordered a chicken caeser salad because I don't like when other people pay for me at restaurants so I always try to get the cheap thing.  As soon as his mother opened her mouth about it I knew this (she and I) was going to be a match made in HELL.  "Ahhh, I remember our first date when I ordered a salad because I didn't want you to think I was fat."  Wow.  Really?!  Thanks for making me feel like a schmuck the first time we meet, greatly appreciated!  From then on it was downhill, I truly only got along with that woman when I faked a smile and went along with what she said, which wasn't a lot.

To be continued...

xoxo,
Me